Naruto talk show on crack
by OriginalOtaku
Summary: Talk to the Naruto characters. A fan based interview with the Naruto cast. Review and ask your question in the rewiew. You can ask about pairings, why they like this, whatever. Just have fun! Review with questions RATED T
1. Cookies and crack

Everyone was lined up for interview questions in a quite akward manner. shika was half falling off his chair and gaara had yied up and put in a big see through tube so he would kill us all. since i am the author he wont kill me only you hahahah. Anyway this is the first letter YAYAYAYAY. YESH I AM HYPER . i stole gaara's cookies shhhhhhh.

OK this means ... stuff people do ok and _italics_ are thoughts ty names are in **bold**

iIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiI

**SASUKE and NARUTO arrent gay!,im tired of everyone saying that.**  
**Kiba What happens if YOU eat chocolet  
Kiba Whitch do u like better cats or dogs(Be truthfull)  
Shino, My friend thinks you like Ino,is it true  
Kankuro, Why do you steel Temari's lipstick,She needs it for Shika**

**P.s. Kiba and Shika I LOVE YOU Hugs and kisses**

**-from May**

As the note was but on a big TV monitor for everyone to see gaara just started to burst out laughing in his "special" tube i made just for him. Which is basicly just a big plastic tube _...i hope he can breath and doesnt run out of air ...oh well _Shikamaru fell off his chair and looked up then just put on his anti-fangirl/boy belt he made himself. WOW THAT IS FUCKING LAZY. wait its shika-kun...shrugs anyway lets get the awnsers now or no one will ever see anything they like again and will all die slowly and

**host:** "ok everyone why dont we go to kiba to see his reaction" _Then manybe I can rape him fro no reason __ the host thought as she sat

**kiba:** "why does everyone asume i am a dog i am a human i hang around dogs and understand them and love them bunches and hate cats and like the outdoors and sticking my head out windows of moving vihilces and sniffing things and..."

**HOST:"** FETCH BOY throws a stick out the door"

**Kiba:** Looked around then runs after the stick just like a puppy

**Host:** She quickly closes the door so he cant get back in "he was just gonna keep going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on..."

**everyone in the audience**: "OK WE GET IT ALREADY"

**host :** She rubs the back of her head as a little sweat drop appears on the side of her head "gomenasi anyway on to shino"

**Shino: **He blinked and just stared through his sunglasses.

**host:** "well do you?"

**Shino: "**... do i what?"

**Host**:"do you like ino?"

**shino:** "...does ino like bugs?"

**host:** "i dont think so..."

**shino:** "then no she is a whore with no pupils and need to get a life other then being konoha's #1 prostitute"

**everyone:** O.O'

**host:** "damn i like you now shino...and yes i like bugs...hugs shino then goes to kankuro"

**kankuro**: "I DID NOT STEAL GAARA'S COOKIES"

**host:** "that wasnt even close to the question..." She looked over to Garra who starts to claw at his "special" tube she made him "your stupid and dead meat now dolll boy." She said looking back to kankuro

**kankuro:"**FUCKING SHIT" he said as he runs out of the studio as though his balls were on fire,_ they probly were at the rate of speed he was going...ewwww i sound like a nerd_.

**host:** "well that was fun on to the next question thingy thing and i was gonna say alot more boring stuff but i dont feel liek it now woooh"

**Dear less smexxy Uchiha brother,  
JUST GIVE UP YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT YOU WILL NEVER BEAT ITACHI AT ANYTHING ECXEPT BEING MORE GAY AND ANNOYING!**

**-Bellatrix'sTwin**

**host:** "YOU GO GIRL FRIEND...wait are you even a girl? well that doesnt matter cuz wether you are or not i will now rether to you as one wooooooohooooooo ...im on crack shhhhhhh"

**Sasuke:** "why does everyone think im gay"

**Host:** "idk because you act gay i mean you sure looked like you likes that "accidental" kiss with our wittle naruto" she hugs naruto "its ok baby give mommy a hug"

**Naruto:** "ur not my mom ..."

**Host:** "i got ramen..."

**Naruto : **Hethinks for 3 seconds "MOMMY I WUV YOU!!!"

**Host:** _and now i can selll him on ebay to some fangirl in canda with a really big forehead and creeepy green hair mwhahahhahahah wow that sounds liek a muppet caracter why do i talk so much in my head _She thought beforwe shaking her head once more

**naruto :** "mommy are you dead"

**Host :** "no i am a zombie nya nyan yan ayanay"

**sasuke:** "ok me time"

**host :** "oh yeah i forgot about you fucking loser"

**sasuke:"** i can kick you butt any day"

**host : "**Well I can kill you off in this facfiction sell your dead body to orochimaru and have his creeoy necrophiliac pedo hands touch and rape and molest you"

**everyone:** "_does she have ADHD or is she just fucking crazy"_ They all thought to themselves

**sasuke:** "i want some one who belives in me again" He cried and went to the special made emo corner with lots of sharp things to cut himself and signs saying do us the favor (_woah i almost feel like i did a bad thing by making that but i dont yay for me_ - host)

just at that time a new letter apears on the gaint tv screen as i sigh "GOD DAMMIT EMO WHY DO THEY HAVE TO LIKE YOU "(random person) as this not apears on the screen

**dear SASSYGAY,  
everyone knows your in love with sakura so why did you leave he kill orchimaru and make you own gang with that Karin she ugly and mean, **

**she likes you and sakura is the only person for you you should go back to sakura and kiss her until she forgives you for leaving. do it now OR I WILL KILL YOU  
i'm gonna love the story :)** --**Meligirl128**

**SASUKE:** "that is easy to explain honestly i waasnt getting any strnger and i wanted to kill my bro cuz he killed my whole family over a ping pong tornement"

**host:** "i thought it was cuz he hated them and they were weak"

**sasuke:** "no he sucked at the ping pong tournoment and came iin dead last what did you thing the symbol on my back symbolizes"

**host:** "a fan to like help da fire thingy"

**sasuke:** "no it sybolizes pong now can i continue"

**host:** "fine mental isilum..."

**sauske:** "i heard that anyway he sucked and i only slightly sucked so he left me and killed everyone that was good at ping pong and so i was the only one left cuz i thought it was a dumb game and never trired hard at it so i went to orrochimarus to get power"

**host:** "but arent you his butt slave and wont you be his next bodie"

**sasuke:** "ahhh that is were you are wrong he has whore 400 whore thanks to OURAN THRIST FEED IT TO YOUR WHORTES AND THEY'LL WHORE ABNORMALY FAST"

**host:** "get on with it dammit"

**sasuke:** "anyway i will get stronger then him then when he gets sick on that one week out of the year and is at his worst i will killl him escape and go kill my brother then go to konoha with his head on a pike and me coverd in his blood and.." Just then itachi bursted through teh studios doors

**Itachi:** "foolish little brocthet that will never happen because..."

**sasuke:** "ITACHIIIIIIIIIIII oh wait because why ..."

**Itachi :** "because i have on my side" itachi said as he pulled out a battered and patched stuff weasle plushie

**audience:** "OO _the whole uchiha family is nuts arent they"_ whispering to themselves

**Itachi:** "mwhahhahah i will always win" He screams running out with a wealse costume on

**Host:** "well that was weird next NOTE WOOOOOOOOO"

**Dear everyone, here are some cookies puts a plate of cookies down **

**1)will there be any villians to ask about**

**2)is gaara ever truly happy**

**3)what dose gaara do at night **

**From- SweetAndCute**

**Host:** "yes we will have villians next is the akatsuki YAYYAYA"

gaara then rams his head at the gaint tube he's in, breaking it as everyone starts to panic. Except for the host that is, who was trying to make a pana costume, but thats not important now. As Gaara starts walking with his head down in that oh so creepy mannor, he walks right up to the host and dun dun dun takes the plate of cookies form her them sits down and turns into a happy chibi glomping the cookies.

**audience:** "wow cookie crack"

**host:** "mmmmm crack anyway hey gaara"

**gaara:** "MY COOKIES !!"

**host:** "i just want to talk here is anouther cookie" She said as she hands him a super big chocolate chip cookie

**gaara:** He looks supsicously then takes the cookies, confused but happy he asked "what do you want"

**host:** "you want to tell the nice people what you do at night"

**gaara:** "play tea party with my teddy bear and play DDR i killed rock lea at it i am sooooo koolie"

**host:** "goood gaara" She smirked slightly as she pets him on the head like a puppy

**gaara:** "yaaay... cookie time??"

**host:** "yes cookie time"

and gaara and the host skip off alll happpy into the sunset in search og the nestley toll house shop which was down the street while everyone one else think they are freaking nut jobs or they but drugs into the cookies that they give them either way it was creepy

iIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiI

**Host:** "plz review with question for more people or with what you want to happen next" she laughed and shuvs a cookie in her mouth.

**Gaara:** "review or i willl KILL YOU ALL YOU WORTHLESS PEICES OF SHIT."

**host :** "goood gaara" she gives him a cookie.

**gaara:** "yaaay takes the cookies I REALLY MEAN IT THOUGH YOU BETTER REVIEW"


	2. Abduction

**Host:** OK EVERYBODY IT IS STIME FOR YOUR FAVORITE CRACK FIC pulls out a big mic shaped like a penis THE NARUTO CAST INTERVIEW...VIEW...view...

the aduience cheers as the characters come out. naruto jumps from a gaint bowl of ramen. while gara is clinging to teh cookie of LIFE . we dont fucking ask anymore i just make up a shit as i go along so deal with it bitches. Anyway i am now going to start the real show since you probly dont want to listen to me anymore so lets begin with teh first of many mofo letters. As THE NEW LETTER APEAR ON TEH GAINT SCREEN EVERYONE READS.

**Gaara:Where did you get the gourd from  
The Host:Is any Tailed beasts going to be here cuz' Shukaku is one of my fav characters.  
Naruto:When did you first like ramen?**

**From --Subuku no Jess**

**Naruto:** i first started...

**Host**: pushes naruto out of the way move mofo ...omfg i got a question. i would like to thank my mommy for getting me this computer to talk to you and my boyfriend cuz ...I WUV HIM...and

**Audience:** JUST GET ON WITH IT

**Host:** hmmm let me thinky hums the fighting dreamers song yesh yesh we will infact if you want i can make them come out now...

**Audience:** NOOOOOOO all glomp her and dog pile on her to stop her

**Host:** mubbleing sounds

Shikamaru takes the mic, tired and hands it to gaara then goes to a cloud and sleeps as he floats to the sky _(is he dead -everyone)_

**Gaara**:...i will kill chu you didnt bring any offerings of blood or... cookies

**naruto:** pokes gaara awnser there question

**Gaara:** i made it out of clay and sand in pottery class when i was 5

**Host:** managed to get free somehow and took the mic from gaara that was defintally unexpected

**Naruto:** takes the mic from her i first started ramen when i teh orphan age they fed us ramen when we were having a birthday party and i wuved it bunches and then i went to ramen world for my birthday

**Host:** wow they must put crystal meth in that ramen anyway on to the next question which has a box with it

The Host pulls out a big box wrapped in blood red wrapping papper and has black ribbons with little bleach white skulls on it whith this note attached to the top

**Wow... GAARA ****From- Me and Gaara 4ever **

They all look at the box while gaara is in the corner eating his last cookie. Shikamaru rips off the note while naruto moves the bo toward. Gaara looks up creeply and naruto waves and smiles at him then gaara looks back at his half eaten cookie.

**Gaara:** i wish i had more cookies

**Me and Gaara 4ever : **pops out of the big box and Glomps gaara

**Gaara:** get off me you crazy bitch

**Me and Gaara 4ever: **never and plus pulls something out of the box i got you homemade cookies

**Gaara:** looks at her then the cookies then her then back ...

**Me and Gaara 4ever:** go on take one there made with blood

**Gaara:** grabs a cookie and eats it then grabs anouther and anouther till he ate them all

**Me and Gaara 4ever: **were they good looks at him evily

**Gaara:** yes...damn whore

**Me and Gaara 4ever:** nighty night

**Gaara:** what was in those cookies he an shukaku suddenly fall alseep

**Me and Gaara 4ever:** puts gaara in a big bag and takes him away snickering

**Host:** NOW THAT GAARA IS GOING TO GET RAPED WE WILL RETURN TO YOU AFTER A WORD FROM OUR SPONCERS

blink**-** A girl with long black hair and amethyst eyes appeared. She was holding up a glass of milk. Zomg, is this an infomercial?!

"Okay people. Let's say you're sitting at home enjoying a nice, refreshing glass of milk." She said, holding the milk close to the screen. Her nose wrinkled. "But what you might not've known was that its possible that your milk could contain trace amounts of bull milk. What is bull milk you might ask? Well, it happens when a farmer is tipsy and milked a bull instead of a cow!"

The audience gasped and started muttering to themselves.

The girl nodded and raised a hand to silence them. "I know. Now… do you get milk when you try and milk a bull?" She shook her head. "No, ya don't. But if you're lucky, you just get a bit of pee. But you don't always get lucky, if ya know what I mean."

Sounds of disgust from the audience.

The girl threw her glass of milk onto the wall behind her and pointed at the camera, a fire in her eyes and her hair floating from a burning red aura. "Protect yourselves and your children! Bull's milk is dangerous, disgusting and might make girls pregnant with half human, half cow FREAKS!"

"YEAH!" The audience roared.

She pumped her fist into the air. "Join the AMA in the fight against milk and other dairy products! REVOLUTION!"

"REVOLUTION!" The audience quickly became a mob led by the girl, running outside and towards a dairy farm.

**"The following message was brought to you by the Anti Milk Association or AMA. No cows or dairy or dairy farmers were harmed _during_ the making of this commercial though some were before and especially afterwards. We're not liable for that, we had a contract. If anyone was offended, the AMA president clearly states "We don't care, NYAAAH!" We will now return you to your featured anime." **

**-**once again, the author apoligizes for going on a tangent again. She claims she won't do it again, but she has her fingers crossed, so you can't trust her-

**Host:** welcome back to our show gaara is getting raped and we have a new message lets look shall we

**hey everybody this are the questions  
naruto, why do u like ramen?  
pein, who u really are?  
naruto, does naruko really exists  
and ?itachi are u a frikin mother ?**

**From--ramen naruto lover**

**Naruto**: i like ramen because its...good

Pein stealthes out of the shadows adn come to the mic special for his crazy mofo ass

**Pein:** i am the shadow under your bed. I am the reason you dont go outside at night. I am the reason you are scared of the dark...

**Host:** comes out of no where with a mallet and knocks pein out what now you mofo bitch

**Sasuke:** itachi couldn't be here due to fan girl issues so i will awnser for him YES HIS IS A FUCKING MOTHER FUCKER HE SHOULD DIE ...ITACHHIIIIIIIIIII.runs out of the studio in search of itachi

**Host:** i put him on crack yay for me

ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz

**Host:** thank you for watching and plz review

**Naruto:** or she will put crack on you

**Host:** that made no sence but it ryhmed WOOHOOO


	3. WTF just happened

Everyone starts to walk out of the big purple curtains with pokemon on them. ITS TODAYS THEME Pokemon. Anyway everyone starts to come out as this modified version of the pokemon theme starts to play.

"I want to squeeze as many balls, as anyone thought ever was!! To squeeze them is my real test, to get them is my cause! I will travel cross the lands, searching far and wiiide! Each squishy ball, to understand, the power that's insiiiide! Pokeball! Gotta squeeze them all, it's you and me! Hehe, I know it's _my_ destiny! Pokeball, oooooh, they're my best friend, in a world that can't contest! Pokeball, gotta squeeze them all, a ball so true! My courage will see you through! You squeeze me and I'll report you! Pokeball! Gotta squeeze them all! Pokeball!"

And as that theme song played, panic through the world's mothers' erupted madly! The pokeball corporation was sued and was forced to change their plot AND show, to now be called Pokemon and etc. The rest was history, the original episodes of Pokeball are completely censored now and aren't fun. But my sisters and I are remaking it, catch it in Youtube when they're available!

Ahem...off topic...okay...theme song!

Cue coolie music and...

"I wanna be the very best, that no one ever was! To catch them is my real test! To train them is my cause! I will travel across the land, searching far and wide! Each pokemon, to understand, the power that's insiiiiiide! Pokemon, gotta catch them all, it's you and me! I know it's my destiny! Pokemon! Ooooh, you're my best friend, in a world that can't detest. Pokemon! Gotta catch them all, a heart so true! Out courage will pull us through! You teach me and I'll teach you! Pokemoooon, gotta catch them all! Gotta catch them all! Pokemon!"

Everyone starst to apear as pokemon YAY FOR POKEMON YOU WHORES.

**Host:** not only am i crazy but i made them pokemon...AND I GOT A SPECIAL SURPRIZE

**aduience:** ...whats wrong with you

**Host:** you know i really dont know but ...(pulls a curtain and 2 peoplecome out from behind it) We have live people on teh show today cheerys for them

**abuse****Surrie:** ME HAVE A QUESTION FOR GAARA!

**NAVIKA:** holds sword to her throat must...kill...my...self

**Surrie:** Okay, Gaara, what do you like better, COOKIES, CUPCAKES, or BROWNIES?

**NAVIKA:** ...WHAT KIND OF STUPID, IDIOTIC, IMMATURE, HALF-BRAINED, QUESTION IS THAT!!

**Surrie:** It's my question.

**NAVIKA:** ...oh I give up.

**Host:** surrie

**Surrie:** what?

**Host:** I LOVE YOU MY CRACK HEAD

**Surrie:** I love you to lets have babies

**Host:** WOOHOO LESBIAN BABIES

**Gaara:** can i awnser my question ...Zig zig zagoon ...

**Host + Surrie:** yesh yes you can ((huggles each other)

**Gaara:** i love cookies first then brownies second and cupcakes third...Zig zig zagoon ...

**Surrie +Host:** we knew it yayayayyayayya WE ARE THE BAKA RANGERS

**Host:** I am baka red

**Surrie:** i am baka pink

They both throw down 2 balls one red one pink, then disapear and appear in teh sound both singing the baka national anthom

**Surrie+Host:** WE LOVE YOU BAKAS AND BURRITOES, we swear to uphold the F's in our classes while still being class clowns and sleeping the rest of the time, uphold the law of the taco man while ensureing that all clouds are free and every animal can crap on random preppy people like ino

**Naruto:** ooooo oooo ooooo I GOTZ A QUESTION

**Host:** omg what

**Naruto:** can I be baka ranger yellow

**Surrie:** what do you say baka leader

**Host:** hmmmmmm looks over him WELCOME TO THE TEAM YELLOW BAKA

**Surrie:** what is Navika doing

**Host:** (looks down to see her and gaara making out) drugging gaara YAY

**Surrie:** I knew she would I am sooo smart wait ... O.O ...DOES THAT MEAN IM NOT BAKA PINK ANYMORE RED LEADER ...TT-TT

**Host:** I will forgive you just this once

**Naruto:** oh you are so king baka red

**Host:** I know on to the next question DUN DUN DUN

WE now interupt this program for a retarded comercial to waste space mwhahahahahhah FEAR THE WRITER

**-commercial-**

"Hey! You! Person watching this stupid commercial instead of watching the show you came to see! I want you to buy my crap! And if not...I'll kill you!"

"No! But MY crap! Or I'LL kill YOU!"

"But MY crap is better!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is NOT!"

"Screw you!"

"Screw you back!"

"Okay!"

"What?! Don't you dare attempt to sexually harass me, you dike!"

"Muahahhaa..."

" Ah?! Ahhhh! Stay away from me, freak! Ahhhhhh! Eeeeek, nuuuuu!"

...anyone else as disturbed as I am? o.o...okay...uhm, yeah...why the hell did I write that for...uh...yeah...back to the interview

**Host:** AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE I INTERUPTED MYSELF ...wow that souds weird andyway here is the next letter

**Hi Everyone!:)**

**I like cookies alot!! (gives Gaara a warm homemade giant chocolate chip cookie)**

**SASUKE...I HATE YOU!AND I HATE YOUR STUPID FANGIRLS!NARUTO IS STRONGER! (laughs evilly)**

**Shino: when you take a bath do ur bugs drown?O.o**

**Temari:Is your fan heavy? Isent it a pain carring it around all day?**

**Kankuro: I dont believe you play with dolls!! People are too mean to you!**

**Itachi:...Kisame is gonna rape you...he told me...OO**

**Sakura: If the emo freak (points at sasuke) wasn't here who would you like?**

**From--SurunasuGirl**

**Gaara**: (glomps his cookies) i love you SurunasuGirl (starts to eat his cookies)

**Host:** anyway shino do or can your buggy wuggys drowny wowny

**Shino:** why are you talking like that..?

**Host:** I DONT KNOW ANYMORE I BLAME DA WEED

Just then zestu comes in and hands her a bag with some suspicous stuff in it. She hands him some money and they talk. Then zestu turn to the audience.

**Zestu:** Nothin's better then the shit i grow on my head just call me mr weed your local drug dealer

**Shino:** anyway no my bugs dont drown i take them ot and let them mate while i bath, they are allowed to do anything they want in that time frame

**Host:** oooohhhhh what kinda things hehehe things _(behold pervert powers)_

**kankuro:** finally someone understands me

**host:** they probly like dollys too or want to rape you

**kankuro:** i hate you

**host:** and i hate homos BUT BI PEOPLE KICK ASS

**everyone:** -- whats wrong with you

**host:** your face!!

**sakura:** that doesnt even make sence

**host:** to me it does but in my world everyone is ponys and they eat rainbows and poops butterfly that will enslave the human race and kill us all off by makeing sure we cant reproduce eventually ending the world.

**Naruto:** you scare me red leader

**host:** OMG A COOKIE _(eats the cookie) _i scarerd yo mama that why you retarded

**sakura:** _(backs away slowly)_ anyway i would probly like someone like hmmmmmmm idk maybe gaara

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Omg I must update nowwww

Review I need reviews please


	4. I owned you now pay!

Listen there will be some format changes and yesh I am finally back x3 Thank my awesome friend and here is her fan fiction place. Yes I know her in real life and I might just rape her _ but it wouldn't be rape if she liked it _ and yesh I am a chicky I am just _ Bi-sexual NO FLAMES OR I SHOOT BITCH!!!! Anyways here is her site thingy for Sugar-hype-Queen or whatever _ I just call her Ken-chan!!!

* * *

The host sits, disturbed by her findings on the Internet. As she moved her mouse cautiously over the screen an anime sweat drop appeared on her forehead. With a click she awaited her results of her test from .com and with dread she glared at the screen. "God fucking dammit just cuz I am short I am HIM!!!!!!!!!" She screamed only to turn around and see the audience watching her. "Well heheheheh lets get on with the show shall we……and hope you will never know what just happened though in this fanfic you probably will anyway………" She said the theme song of the day now playing with awesome a loud rush of music.

_All the days when we just played….back in school, just me and you…..but I can't forget you now….what am I supposed to do?….we can be more than friends….do you know I'm here for you?….'Cause you're so easy to love…When you smile, the sky turns blue_

**Host:** "Well today we are gonna be having fun" She said giggling as she waltzed in rubbing the back of her head from earlier embarrassment.

**Rock Lee:** "We are!! Aye?" Lee gave his normal sparkle smile with thumbs up to the host for letting him talk this time.

**Host:** "Damn Canadians…" She clicked a button on her awesome remote of God-ness and Lee was chain up being dangled above a pit of sharks. ((Don't ask But I don't hate Canadians I actually have friends in Canada))

**Rock Lee:** "What's the deal ?! Aye"

**Host:** "I once saw a Canadian moose kill a teddy bear" She twitched a little as the vision on the screen got blurry and flashback

**Naruto:** "Not another flashback!!! Nooooooo"

**Host:** "Shut up Baka yellow and I will give you ramen"

**Naruto:** "Okies" He literally pulled out a roll of duck tape and put it on his own mouth

**Host:** "Now back to that flashback…."

The host sat on the floor of her living room. She was about 4 years old at the time and she had just opened all her Christmas presents, colorful wrapping paper lay about as if a cyclone came by. Looking out the lovely bay windows she snuggled her brand new teddy bear. When suddenly a guy in a Canadian moose costume breaks through the window, only to grab the young girls new toy, glaring intently at the small object. As the fiend pulled out a knife the girl starred up at him as if entranced. Piercing the bear's chest, running the blade along the belly to create a giant hole. He grabbed fistfuls of stuffing; reaching finally what he wanted a large wad of money, what appeared to be thousand dollar bills. Throwing the bear on the ground the horrible person grunted and left the same way they came in. Though to a young child this would only look like someone or something killing her bear so yeah.

**Host: **"As I said I once saw a Canadian moose Kill a teddy bear.." She nodded strawberry pocky in her mouth. "Now let's get to the mail!!!!!"

**Sugar-Hype-Queen**

**...After reading that, I feel like I did drugs. Like, LOTS OF DRUGS! And then watched Naruto. And then did more drugs. XD  
You are teh awesomeness!  
-nesha/SHQ ;]**

**Host: **"OMG!!!!! KEN-CHAN!!!!!" Pulls her out of the letter somehow with a plot device o.o? And snuggles her

**Ken-chan: **"The Snapple O.o JoJo why am I in the fanfic"

**Host: **"Shhhh you must call me master now …….or Noelle BUT I LIKE MASTER"

**Ken-chan: **"Then why do I have to use my nick name, and im gonna pretend that master bit never happened."

**Host: **"Oh fine ….you can be Sugar" Magically changes Ken-chan's name to Sugar Noelle bitch

**Sugar Noelle's Bitch: **"Change it now or I will tell the fan-peoples where you live"

**Host**:"Oh fine…party pooper….I just wanted a little bobbies Q~Q" Changes her name to Sugar

**Sugar:** "Right I'm ignoring that last bit"

**Host: **"You always do sugar-chan ^o^ you always do…anyways ON TO THE NEXT MAIL OR ELSE _"

**Sasuke: Why does your hair look like a chicken's **?  
Gaara: (Gives Gaara cookies) Only thing I can actually make without exploding my oven. :D  
Neji: The first time i saw you, I thought your hair was part of your forehead protector. XD  
Expect to hear more from me.  
-NewtGirl**

**Host: **"Wow …..I thought the same thing when I saw neji I love you now newt girl !!! For you are like me o.o Yay!!!" She blinked petting Sugar on the head like a cat _

**Sugar: **"Oh heaven save us now " She said squirming away

**Host: **"Shut up betch we must answer her awesome sauce question 8D" Ties up Sugar with some random rope she found 8DDD

**Neji**: "You people are why I only believe in destiny …not god" He glared hand on his forehead as if it would help him from the stupid.

**Sugar: **"run run while you can Neji!!!"

**Host: **"Too late" She smirked evilly putting Neji in a ballerina outfit. "Now Gaara!!!"

**Gaara**: Blinks nibbling on a cookie he was given earlier, making his sand hold a machine gun to Kankuro's head.

**Kankuro:** Attaches chakra strings quickly to Neji making him dance to swan lake

**Neji:** "I would like to say once again I hate you people" He glared as he was forced to dance

**Host:** "And no one likes you so we don't care ^^" She giggled putting a collar on Gaara as she fed him more cookies and putting a shock collar on Sugar "On to the next letter"

**Sugar:** "I'm a little scarred now…"

**Gaara:** "I get cookies …..and don't you mean scared?" He said between nibbles of the cookie yum-ness.

**Sugar:** "No….I mean scarred…."

**Host:** "Yep scarring my friends is my specialty NOW shut up and let me read the new letter !!! Bad pet!!!" Sprays Sugar with water and hoping she doesn't melt

**Sugar:** "Your overlooking a part of the previous letter" She blinked obviously not too happy

**Host:** "Really? O_O"

**Naruto:** "Newt asked why does Sasuke's hair look like a chickens ass!!!!"

**Host:** " Thank you baka yellow here is the golden baka award for assisting the red baka ranger in her mission" She smiled handing a golden award in the shape of a rubber chicken on a stick the stick conveniently located up the butt of said chicken

**Naruto:** "I would like to thank……um…………….KYUBBI!!!!!

**Host:** "Good for you Naruto now moving on!!!"

**Sasuke:** Blinks' and looks up obviously pissed for the comment and hoping they wouldn't have mentioned it

**Host:** "God damned emos….well his hair looks like that to attract female hens for mating reasons after all he is part chicken ." She nodded as if this made perfect sense.

**Rock Lee:** "Get me down from here aye and that sounds right aye" He squirmed as he was about to descend entirely in the pit of sharks.

**Host:** "This Canadian may be of use after all He shall now be baka green!!!" She clicked her trusted awesome button and he was sitting beside her with a smiley sticker on the chest of his spandex suit.

**Sugar**: "Wow how are you not banned yet…?"

**Host: **"I send then death threats from crazy old woman and exploding cookies :D"

**Gaara: **"These aren't those same cookies……are they….."

**Host: **"Of course not my little panda…now put this on " She giggled handing him a panda suit.

**Gaara: **"fine….but I want a cookie cake after this" He glared crossing his arms now in the suit

**Host: **"Oh the cuteness….." Hand him the giant cookie cake and drools

**Sugar:** "Since the host is busy I shall announce the next set of questions…and lets hope there are more this time"

**RandomRamenQueen**

**Wowe that was so funny! I peed me pants and started crying because I thought I would die from lack of oxygen! Hahaha I believe I will put you on my fav list!**

THIS ** IS bananas B.A.N.A.N.A.S! CRACK!

**Host:** "Woohooo!!! I make people pee from coast to coast !!! I am that funny betchs!!!"

**Sugar:** "I am too !! Even though I just got here!!"

**Rock Lee:** "Me too aye"

**Host:** "Shut up green baka!!!"

**Rock Lee:"**Alright aye…."

**Host:** "I will find you ramen girl and make sweet love to you now "

**Sugar:** "I wont let her I promise ^o^"

**Host**: "That's right I will be too busy with you " Grabs Sugars boobies from behind

**Sugar: **"I am gonna ignore that statement and I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!!" She glared turning around and smacking the host on the head with a giant squeaky hammer

**Host: **"Ow e.e well on to the next question while I deal with this e.o" Twitches a bit on the floor

**Ichima-Chan14**

**Strange...so...so strange*gets an anime sweatdrop*  
Oh well its pretty good anyway. May Chicken-**(Sasuke)rot in hell!! Bye bye. :)**

**Naruto: **Starts to laugh pointing at Sasuke "Lol your super hated with real chicks dude XD"

**Sasuke:** "Shut up dobe" He said with the usual death glare

**Host:** "Shut up ASS-UKE " Steals Sugars squeaky hammer from earlier and hits Sasuke upside the head with it, knocking him out.

**Sugar:** "Don't you think that was a bit much"

**Host:** "Betch since when do I think XD …wait"

**Sugar:** Laughs "Yeah maybe your right" She chuckled poking the host's sides

**Host:** "No touchy unless its no no touchy " She blinked pulling out the next letter getting bored with this one.

**Chariline**

**First, I gotta say that this is funny.  
Second--If Naruto was a cookie, how many people would eat him? =D  
Third--If I ate all of Gaara's cookies -eats them all- what would happen next? 8D  
And fourth--Where's Rock Lee? DX  
(Do you, Miss Host, watch Naruto The Abridged Series?)  
Thanks!~**

**Host:** "Omg more fans x3 this is getting super exciting x3"

**Gaara:** "I would eat Naruto if he was a cookie….or cookie flavored…." He looked to the ground blushing slightly

**Host:** "Gar-chan's got a crush so cute I will film them later in their natural bed room envirment"

**Sugar:** "Isn't that called gay porn or yaoi hentai and if you do Can I have some owo?"

**Host:** "No it's a documentary with on mating its completely legal and able to let under 18 watch "

**Naruto & Gaara:** "Right…"

**Sugar:** "Gimmi a copy ^o^"

**Host:** "Gimmi my money betch anyways next part of the damned message"

**Gaara:** "You….fucking…ate….my ….COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed holding his head about to transform

**Host:** "And this is what really causes these transformations not sleep but cookie depravation" She said as if she was completely safe, Gaara changing just feet behind her.

**Naruto**: Shoves a cookie in Gaara's mouth "Dear god man O_O Red leader run if this doesn't work we will all die!!"

**Host: **"Oh I'm sure it will work ^^" She giggled knowing it would as the small male known as Gaara sat nibbling on the cookie once again calm.

**Sugar: **Comes out from behind a random prop "Are we dead yet ?"

**Host: **"Nope we are all alive ^o^"

**Sasuke: **"Dammit…..I wish you would all die…..and take me with you…"

**Everyone: **"SHUT UP EMO KID!!!" ((Note: I have nothing against emos I just hate Sasuke))

**Rock Lee:** Sits in his chair pouting "I'm right here Aye….i was actually in this one a little ^^"

**Host:** "Now see how nice I am "

**Rock Lee:** "There was a question for you too you know aye"

**Host:** "I know!!! Now…I am honored to have this opportunity and yes I love Naruto abridged I love it bunches and kakashi is a sexy sexy man XD" ((Note watch Naruto abridged 23 to understand this))

**Sugar: **"Well I belive we are all done here"

**Host: **"I suppose so…and join us next time on NARUTO CRACKHEAD TALK SHOW FROM PURU PURU ISLAND"

**Sugar: **"I thought it was just Naruto talk show…"

**Host: **"Well it just changed and join us next time with out special Hostages I mean **guests Edward and Alphones Elric!**!!"

**Everyone: **"Fangirl "

**Host: **"Fuck you I am short and bored so fuck you …..threesome "

**Sugar: **"Well goodnight everyone!"

**Host: **"Hope you don't die !! Unless I want you to die "

**Naruto: **"Ramen!!!"

* * *

Now please review remember your reviews are what make this possible I need your reviews for the messages and please I love people who send multiple ones x3 So do as many as you can and don't make them like 30 questions e.o It gets really confusing at that point so thankies ^^


End file.
